boomerang

“I am a boomerang;
Doesn’t matter how you throw me.
Turn around and I’m back in the game,
Even better than the old me;
But…”

You probably from long time ago, whatever happened between then and now, realized that you can NOT force anyone to love you. You cannot impose. You cannot force them to lovingly look at your pictures even when they’re expected to. You can probably teach but you cannot expect them to learn to love you even when they’re probably expected to.

There may probably have been a point, between then and now, where you’ve asked and wondered why; where you’ve probably keenly observed in the corner what probably made them adore something else; where you’ve probably made a checklist in your mind just so you got all points covered; where you’ve probably shed a tear or two because nothing makes sense and it’s pathetic.

Then, between then and now, you stopped and learned; you manage your expectations. And suddenly you worship Dr. House for saying, “It did not happen because you deserved it; it happened because it happened.”  Period.

So, between then and now, when you probably hear them affirm their supposed love because people are starting to notice, you’d probably hate yourself. Because you cannot affirm back; because you feel nothing or probably you do feel something: indifference.

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Just so I get to put it here, I’ve been playing Gavin Degraw’s “Not Over You” (studio version) on repeat. I love it. Singing the lines “Not Over You” over and over again is like sipping hot chocolate on a cold, cold day. Not over yo-hoo! ;)